This is why I was worried about Kindergarten.

When I said yesterday that "with Logan, it can be hard to tell how he'll react to something," what I was really getting at is that he loses his $h!* over the most ridiculous things sometimes and can become completely irrational and unreasonable (most notably and inconveniently when it comes to daycare drop offs even as recently as this year).

I've said before that he has a hard time handling his emotions, so I had mentally prepared for a rough drop off on his first day of kindergarten. I thought we had made it over the "transitions are hard" hurdle with him after such a great first day, but it turns out today was rock bottom after such a high point yesterday.

Logan got kicked out of daycare on his last ever day there. Yeah, that happened. And I'm mortified, upset, pissed and disappointed.

I honestly have no idea what set him off, but somewhere during the 2-minute drive to his last day at daycare, he decided that he was.not.going. I used every trick in my mommy arsenal to convince him to get out of the van: encouragement, compassion, humor, bribery, punishment, tears, and even brute force (and I have a kink in my neck to show for it). Nothing worked, so I carried Lorelai inside in tears and the director offered to try to get him.

That didn't work either, so I sat in the car with Logan, begging and crying for him to get out. For THIRTY MINUTES! He said he wanted to stay in the car all day, and when I told him it wasn't an option because it's too dangerous--kids die from being in hot cars for too long (I was going for the shock factor here)--he told me he would rather die than get out of the car. Lots of tears ensued and more hurtful words were said. You NEVER want to hear that you child thinks you don't love him, and that he doesn't love you either. He even said that if Adam came to help "I'll just unbuckle myself while daddy's driving so he goes to jail" (we may have overstated the consequences of not buckling up at time or two in the past...).

I finally convinced him to let me unbuckle him, but he immediately changed his mind and I had to physically carry him from the back seat of the van into the building kicking and screaming. The director took him and said he'd be fine since he usually calms down quickly after a bad drop off at school.

I cried all the way to work and then for a while longer in my friend's office because it was just that upsetting to me (parenting failure much?). I finally calmed down just in time to get a call saying that Logan was still kicking, punching, and trying to run out of the building. They needed me to pick him up. And just to kick me while I was down, they had packed up his cubby and papers and had it all sitting in a pile by the front door when I got there.

By the time I got there, he had calmed down (probably glad because he got what he wanted--not having to be at daycare), and he agreed to come to work with me. Because on top of all of that ridiculousness, our a/c broke last night, so I wasn't about to spend all day in a hot house with a kid who has lost TV and Wii privileges.

Thankfully, he was on his best behavior while he hung out at work with me, even though he did get totally stir-crazy. Thank goodness for awesome co-workers who gave him things to entertain him. But in hindsight, he said he would rather been playing with his friends. TOLD YOU SO! GAH!



He even took the time to write an apology note to his awesome teacher and draw her a picture. (Which obviously I made him do, but he didn't even complain about it.)

He told me what he wanted to write, I dictated the letters. Plus, arts and crafts with a sharpie and a stray magazine in the recycle pile. Use what you got, right?

Then he did the same on my white board. Now that he's calm, I think he really does feel bad for hurting our feelings and completely ruining his last day of daycare.

"Sorry for makeg you kry." He knew how to spell some of the words from his letter to his teacher, and he sounded out the others on his own.

Suffice it to say that it was NOT a good day, and not at all how I envisioned his last day at the place he's been for almost every day of the week since he was 12 weeks old. Unceremoniously kicked out. For violence. And now I bow my head in prayer that this NEVER happens again. Dear God, please.

And I also pray our a/c gets fixed tomorrow. I'm in no mood to handle this heat in my house.