Wednesday, July 11, 2012

"Because you like her better"

Is it a parenting fail when one of your children fully believes you like his sister better than him? Is it also a parenting fail when you let the little sister get away with murder, simply because she pitches a bigger fit and is entirely more unreasonable than him, and therefore it's no wonder he believes that?

Last night, when I gave Lorelai the banana she was begging for to pacify her while I cooked dinner, Logan and Aidan both asked for one as well. I simply asked if they wouldn't mind waiting until dinner, and Logan's response broke my heart. He said, "but you gave Lorelai her banana already." When I asked why he thought I did that, with tears in his eyes, he responded quitely "because you like her better."

The answer I was going for was more along the lines of "she was near the hot stove crying and reaching for a banana and she's still a baby and doesn't understand how to be patient yet, let alone the fact that getting under Mommy's feet while she's carrying a pot of boiling water is a terrible idea."

I had no idea that thought was even on his mind. But honestly, I can totally see why he would think that. Heck, my Facebook friends, Instagram followers and blog readers probably think I like Lorelai the best, too, due to the disproportionate number of pictures I take of her compared to the boys.

For the record, it's not true. I reassured Logan that I love all of them the same, even if I sometimes treat them differently. I do coddle Lorelai more, and give in to her whining more than I probably should, and definitely more than I do with the boys. But I explained that since she's younger she can't do as many things for herself, so we all have to help her. (And he really does like to help her, so I think he got it.)

This face. How can you resist this face? None of us can, Aidan and Logan included.
This face. How can you resist this face? None of us can, Aidan and Logan included.

Then I agreed that I was being unfair by not giving him a banana right then, and apologized. I'm really going to have to get better about being fair whenever I can, because I don't want anyone to think I'm playing favorites.

And just as soon as I can get my boys attached to my hip again and not run away whenever I shove the camera in their face, I'll have an equal number of pictures of them to be fair :)


  1. I struggle with this a lot. My 19 month old is very clingy and needy and I let him get away with a lot more than my 3 year old. He's never said anything about it to me, but I know he notices that he's treated differently. It breaks my heart and I too need to be more fair. I try to cut myself some slack, but it's hard to ignore the mommy guilt. :( thanks for sharing this, I can totally relate

    1. Mommy guilt is such a powerful thing, especially when your kids know exactly the right buttons to push to trigger it!! :)


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