If nothing else, I was meant to be a mom

I've had a rough and stressful couple of weeks at work that's left me questioning myself professionally. Questioning my abilities. Questioning my worth. Questioning my purpose. Maybe I wasn't meant to do this job and don't have what it takes.

But with all of those questions and doubt that sometimes swirl in my head, there's one thing about myself that I know without a doubt: I love being a mom. I was meant to be a mom. I have what it takes and I enjoy it.





Does it mean I'm a perfect mom? Of course not, there's no such thing. Could I do things better? Yes. Am I doing my best? I truely believe so. I love my kids with every fiber of my being. I'm there for them. To nurture, guide and care for them. To set limits. To teach respect and responsibility and how to love in return.



Despite all the sleepless nights, tantrums (oh so many tantrums), and doubt about how best to parent during difficult situations, I've never once questioned my decision to become a mother. I've never once thought that I don't ultimately have what it takes to be a good mom. I'm certainly not bragging. I'm just confident.





As disappointing as it is to be in a position where I'm questioning my professional abilities, it's comforting for me to know that my job doesn't define me. I have always been a mother first (as made clearly evident to my coworkers from the massive amounts of pictures of my kids I have in my office, ha!). My career will never be put above them. I'd be more than sad to see it go (because of the paycheck), but as long as I have my kids, I have purpose and fulfillment and I'll be okay. And that's exactly how it should be.

That perspective helps me make it through the tough times, both at work and at home. If nothing else, at least I'm a good mom and that's no small thing.



PS: I feel like I need to clarify--I don't always feel so down about work. I've been enjoying my job for the most part (especially since my promotion), and I'm very grateful for it. I'm comfortable with my decision to work outside of the home, but that doesn't stop me from daydreaming about what it would be like to stay at home. The grass is always greener, right?

PPS: These are (obviously?) more pictures from Strawberry picking. Told you I had a bunch of them! :)

Linking up with Mandy's Mama Memoirs

Strawberry picking perfection

You know that feeling you get when all plans fall perfectly into place? I was practically giddy with that feeling on Saturday.

We went to bed bummed about the forecast of rain all day, but we woke up to the sun shining bright and the birds chirping and 0% chance of rain until the evening. Perfect weather for strawberry picking and fun at a local farm. 



We rearranged our plans and like magic, we were able to have our cake and eat it, too. No more having to choose between seeing Adam's mom on Mother's Day or going strawberry picking. And I could still have time to go shopping with my mom and have a cookout at our house for her birthday/Mother's Day celebration.


Photo credit: Lissa Smith, who we were fortunate enough to run into on our way out. She was kind enough to take a couple of family pictures with my camera.


I've only ever been strawberry picking once. My mom and I took the boys when Logan was Lorelai's age (I think?!) and we just haven't made time to do it again. I'm pretty sure the boys don't even remember ever going. But it was the perfect family outing--especially considering how much all of my kids LOVE strawberries.



But yeah. That feeling. The sun was shining and there was a nice breeze in the air. The kids were excited, the hubby was smiling, I was getting some good photos, and my belly was full from a special breakfast. Pure, simple, perfection.



Every time Logan would excitedly point out another perfect strawberry, my heart would gush about how perfect this day was.



When Aidan would run ahead to see how many more ripe berries there were, I relished the thought of all the memories we were making.



When Adam offered to take the camera to capture me and some moments of our day, I could tell how much fun he was having, too.


Nice artistic shot of the strawberry, honey! Great minds think alike (mine is at the top of this post).



And when Lorelai got sick of the camera in her face and got tired of picking berries (as soon as she noticed the bounce house in the background, the berries lost their appeal), I didn't get bummed. I just picked her up and held her close, enjoying just being there with her in that perfect moment on that perfect day.



And then we laughed when she stuck a berry down my shirt and called it a strawberry nipple. :)



Sometimes I worry we don't do enough with the kids. I admit we like to stay close to home on the weekends because it's really the only time Adam and I get time to sit around, relax and do all the mundane things we don't have time for during the work week. But lately I've been a lot more motivated to go out and do stuff. And let me tell you--it's been pretty great. Not to say that we can't (and don't) have perfect weekends where nothing much happens. There's most definitely still a place for those in my life as a busy full-time working mom of three. But watching the joy on their faces during these out of the ordinary experiences is kind of intoxicating for me as a mom. The best thing is that this wasn't even something big like Disney. Heck, even the pet store was one of these out of the ordinary experiences. So simple and easy.



There was a lot of enjoying the little things this weekend, and it was (have I said it enough?) perfect.


Photo credit: Lissa Smith


PS: We had a lot more fun at the farm, but due to an absurd number of pictures I took, I'm going to spread them out over several posts.

Happy Mother's Day!

My loves, my hearts. The ones who made me a mother and introduced me to the deepest and best love I'll ever know.





It's been a wonderful Mother's Day weekend full of some of my favorite things: fun, family and food. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.


Special breakfast of specialty donuts and biscuits.


Strawberry picking (separate post to come).

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mother and mother-in-law, and to all of the other fabulous moms I know.

And special birthday wishes to my mom today. I love her so much and wouldn't be the mom I am without her love and support. Cheers to you, mom!



Of course I didn't manage to get a single picture of me and my mom this weekend, or Adam and his mom for that matter. But we were able to spend time together, and that's the most important thing.

Random thoughts: shopping, avocados and carnivals

1. I learned my lesson: never go clothes shopping wearing a sports bra. We stopped at Old Navy this weekend since they were having a 30% off sale, and I grabbed a couple of cute tops to try on. They were so unflattering that I left mad, without getting a single thing. Maybe they would have been unflattering anyway, but the sports bra sealed the deal. Bummer, because I really want some new tops for spring/summer.


Not wearing a single thing from Old Navy, but still the cutest model there :) Should have just skipped my section and shopped for her instead!

2. I also tried on a bathing suit, and I stand by my previous statement that bathing suit shopping makes me wish it were winter all year long. Ugh.

3. Avocados (or "applecados" as Lorelai would say) are awesome. She and the boys don't appreciate their yumminess so that meant more for me and Adam. On burritos for Cinco de Mayo, and then on toast with feta and tomatoes for lunch the next day. Yum! I just wish they weren't so expensive...



4. I sat in a conference room all alone for a meeting today. Lame. (And it happens more often than you might think...)



5. I took the kids to a school carnival on Friday. Bounce houses + games + soda + staying up past bedtime = good times. Plus, Logan's friend's mom got us free tickets, so that's a total win in my book.


Logan's favorite thing ever was soda pop drop ring toss. He play so many times until he won, and was so excited to drink his 7up, a treat since he rarely gets soda :)


 Also, is it really only Tuesday? Geez.

Flashback Friday: Cayman Island Turtle Farm

As my Timehop app so cruelly kindly reminded me on Monday, a year ago this week Adam and I were on our amazing second honeymoon cruise. With the chilly, dreary weather we've been having this week, it makes me extra bummed to know I'm here and not there. Sigh.

Anyway, since I completely forgot to post about our excursion to the Cayman Island Turtle Farm last year, I figured now was a perfect time to reminisce.




We got to hold sea turtles!!

We hadn't actually pre-booked any excursions for Grand Cayman, since we had already spent money on the Ruins of Tulum and zip-lining in Belize. I kind of figured we could just lounge on a beach or walk around. But at breakfast that morning, we just happened to be at a table with two different groups who were both going on various excursions to the turtle farm, and were talking about how awesome of an experience they heard it was.


There were all these separate tanks where turtles of the same age were grouped together. I love how hands-on it was, and how informative.

They totally sold us on it, so we at quickly and made a beeline to the excursion desk to see if anything was still available (a lot of excursions sell out early or leave first thing in the morning). We lucked out that there was still an open one that included a visit to the farm, lagoon snorkling, access to their swimming pool/slide and lunch.



It was totally impromptu, but I have to say that I enjoyed it as much (if not more!) than the planned excursions I had been looking forward to for months prior to our cruise. Getting to hold the turtles of different sizes was amazing, and snorkeling with them in the lagoon was really cool. What would have been really awesome is if they had some of the huge 500lb turtles in the lagoon...but no such luck :)







Afterwards, we had time to lounge poolside (and watch all of the iguanas climbing on the rocks), eat lunch (neither of us had the courage to order their turtle soup though!), and wander around the grounds and aviary. We also spent a bit of time gawking at the tank of GIANT turtles. Unfortunately, none of the pictures I took turned out, and you can't tell how big they really are from the video I took, but they were as big as me.



Adam and I kept thinking that was something the kids would have LOVED. That plus the trip to stingray city we took on our honeymoon, and the options for dolphin excursions put Grand Cayman on my list of places to take the kids one day. As fun as our annual trips to Topsail are, I would love to be able to take the kids on special vacations like this so they can experience more of our country and the world. Who knows if/when that'll actually happen, but I can dream, right? :)

Beautiful Mama

Being a mom can often be hard, stressful, tiring and scary. At the same time, it's also the most rewarding job out there, worth every moment. No doubt in my mind, when I look at these beautiful faces.







But it's often a thankless job. I know my kids and hubby love and appreciate me, but it often goes without saying. That's why it means so much when someone from the outside looking in recognizes and appreciates the kind of mom I am.

Layana at Raising Reagan passed along a sweet blog award to me, the Beautiful Mama award, and it's such a nice one because it's about motherhood--the thing I'm most passionate about!

While I don't typically pass along blog awards (boo on me), I do want to pass this one along, just to recognize some other moms who inspire me through their blogs. There are SO many mommy bloggers out there who inspire me so this was tough to narrow down, but here are a few:

Ariel from Dreams to Do, who always has a knack for eloquently writing what I'm thinking. Her post on losing control really hit home for me, because I've been there. Love her perspective on it. We're very similar in many ways, so I always love reading her blog.

Maria, from Every Day is Country Song, who had a long and emotional road to travel on the way to finally bringing home her sweet girl, Piper.

Noel (who also nominated me for a Very Inspiring Blogger award, thanks Noel!) from High Heeled Mama, who's always so fashionable and has a great perspective on showing her daughter the importance of being fit, active a healthy. She makes me feel bad for sitting on my butt all weekend (in a good way!)

Nancy from Ordinary Miracles & The Crazy 9, who's a mom to 7(!!) with some touching adoption stories and amazing and inspiring photos of her sweet kids.

Meghan from Love Meghan, whose post on unconditional love had me nodding my head in agreement.


If you also want to play along, here are the rules:
1. Use the above image in your acceptance post.
2. List 3 things you love most about motherhood.
3. Nominate as many other deserving mamas as you'd like!

Three things I love most about being a mom:

1. Being needed. This one kind of sounds selfish, but it's true. I love that they need and want me to be there for them, hold them, snuggle them, read to them, kiss their boo boos, talk to them and teach them. And I love doing those things.

Even if it means reading Lorelai the same book over and over again...



dealing with Aidan's tricky school situations...



or handling one of Logan's massive meltdowns.



2. Seeing their tight sibling bond grow. My kids love each other, and it makes my heart swell with joy. The way Aidan and Logan care about and look after their sister and each other is a gift. I hope it lasts forever and ever.




3. The unconditional love I feel. It's overwhelming sometimes how much I love my kids. It'll hit me when I'm snuggling and rocking Lorelai before I put her to bed and I just don't want to let her go. Or when the boys get off the bus with huge smiles on their faces, excited to tell me about something that happened at school. Or when we're playing outside or having an impromptu family dance party in the kitchen after dinner.



Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky.


Also, linking up with Mandy's Mama Memoirs (another mommy blogger who inspires me, btw!), because what's more appropriate to share about motherhood than the reasons why I love it so much?! :)