But with all of those questions and doubt that sometimes swirl in my head, there's one thing about myself that I know without a doubt: I love being a mom. I was meant to be a mom. I have what it takes and I enjoy it.
Does it mean I'm a perfect mom? Of course not, there's no such thing. Could I do things better? Yes. Am I doing my best? I truely believe so. I love my kids with every fiber of my being. I'm there for them. To nurture, guide and care for them. To set limits. To teach respect and responsibility and how to love in return.
Despite all the sleepless nights, tantrums (oh so many tantrums), and doubt about how best to parent during difficult situations, I've never once questioned my decision to become a mother. I've never once thought that I don't ultimately have what it takes to be a good mom. I'm certainly not bragging. I'm just confident.
As disappointing as it is to be in a position where I'm questioning my professional abilities, it's comforting for me to know that my job doesn't define me. I have always been a mother first (as made clearly evident to my coworkers from the massive amounts of pictures of my kids I have in my office, ha!). My career will never be put above them. I'd be more than sad to see it go (because of the paycheck), but as long as I have my kids, I have purpose and fulfillment and I'll be okay. And that's exactly how it should be.
That perspective helps me make it through the tough times, both at work and at home. If nothing else, at least I'm a good mom and that's no small thing.
PS: I feel like I need to clarify--I don't always feel so down about work. I've been enjoying my job for the most part (especially since my promotion), and I'm very grateful for it. I'm comfortable with my decision to work outside of the home, but that doesn't stop me from daydreaming about what it would be like to stay at home. The grass is always greener, right?
PPS: These are (obviously?) more pictures from Strawberry picking. Told you I had a bunch of them! :)
Linking up with Mandy's Mama Memoirs