Thursday, October 3, 2013

Life lately

So it looks like I've unintentionally abandoned my blog for the past couple of weeks. I'd love to share our latest beach pictures. I'm sure they're great, but I have no idea because I haven't even gotten the camera out of the case since we unpacked.

Life's gotten in the way--between our beach vacation, work being as crazy as it's ever been for me, and the rest of the proverbial shit that's hit the fan recently, I haven't had the time or the mental capacity at the end of the day to do anything other than veg in front of the TV or sleep. That is, when I'm not jumping out of bed at 11pm to send some urgent emails I thought of while I was trying to fall asleep but couldn't because my brain wouldn't quiet down. I've felt more stress these past couple of weeks than I can remember in a long time. I know I have to keep swimming, but I'm having trouble keeping my head above water.

So in bullet point form, here's what's been going on in my world. Quite a bit of ups and downs last week...
  • We went to the beach for 4 glorious days!
  • I've had to eat my words (twice!) about how Logan has turned the corner, because he basically did this again last Monday. But more scary this time, because of all the morbid thoughts he was verbalizing. Drop-off at his trackout program was...let's just say rough...and 30 minutes later I was back to pick him up because he was threatening to run away from them. The teacher had to physically restrain him from leaving the room.
  • On Tuesday, I was moved to tears by a coworker who noticed that I was having a really rough day on Monday (crying about Logan in the hall at work was a dead giveaway...embarrassing) and delivered these flowers to my desk to try to brighten my day. It worked!
    {A Lazy Crazy Life}
  • That night, while Adam was out of town for work, Logan got upset at me again and acted like he was trying to suffocate himself. In my heart I know he didn't really mean it and I know he couldn't have actually hurt himself that way, but it scared Aidan (and me) to tears.
  • Wednesday I called my Employee Assistance Program hotline for a referral to a child psychologist. I don't know what's going on with Logan, but I'm worried so I have to do something. Anything.
  • Then I engaged in some retail therapy during lunch because I just had to get out of the office for a bit, and ended up with these cute polka dot pants I found on the clearance rack at Target. Score!
    {A Lazy Crazy Life}
  •  And then last Thursday, Adam lost his job. Gulp.

    (And just to add insult to injury, on Friday, I came down with a cold. Seriously?!)

    Now that the initial shock has worn off, we're doing okay. Adam's okay. I have faith that he will find a new job that's better than his previous one. He's so good at what he does and well-respected in his field that I shouldn't be worried. But it's the uncertainty that's scary right now. How long will he have to go without a paycheck?

    As much as I'm complaining now, I know I'm not special. Lots of people have lost their jobs or their pay because of the furloughs. Lots of people are working (even more) insane hours alongside me right now. Lots of people have issues with their kids.

    And really, I know we'll be okay in the end. We're lucky because we have our health (knock on some serious freakin' wood!). We're lucky because we're not immediately in a dire financial situation. We're lucky because I still have a job, regardless of how insane it's been lately. We're lucky because we have each other and a supportive family.

    "When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do? Just keep swimming..." ~Dory

    We'll be okay.

    15 comments:

    1. DURNIT! I've been waiting to see more beach pictures. I enjoyed living vicariously through your IG feed when you were there. :) And so sorry to hear about Adam's job. I will keep him in my thoughts and hope he finds a job soon!!

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      1. Thanks:) And don't worry, I'll get to the beach pictures soon!

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    2. Oh Becky, I'm sending hugs and prayers from here!
      Keep being the awesome mommy, wife, and co-worker that you are.
      My dad once told me, "Life only hands you so many bad days. When you have a bad day you say to yourself, 'ok, that one is done.' "

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      1. You're so sweet, Desiree! I love that saying so, so much. Thanks for sharing it.

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    3. I'm a new follower and just had to comment on this. What a rough go of it lately. Keep on keeping on! And those pants are just fabulous!!

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    4. Hang in there lady. You are an awesome mama and woman - keep on keepin' on. Thinking of you!

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    5. Hang in there lady. You are an awesome mama and woman - keep on keepin' on. Thinking of you!

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    6. Yikes, sounds like you have a lot on your plate! I'm sorry to hear about the trouble you've been having with your son...it sounds like you're doing the right thing, though. I'm an avid believer in therapy (I go myself when I start to feel anxious) so I hope they can help you figure out what it is Logan is trying to convey!! I'm also extremely sorry to hear about your hubby losing his job...being in the military we have that job security that America doesn't really have right now, but even our paychecks are threatened regularly. The US better get it's crap together!!

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    7. i'm so sorry to hear this! when life goes in crazy directions, i try to lean into my spiritual side reminding myself of that great go-to phrase.. 'everything happens for a reason' sending prayers xoxo

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      1. Thanks so much, Caitlin. I appreciate your prayers and I for the most part I agree, everything happens for a reason. It's just tough when you can't immediately see or understand what that reason is.

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    8. Sad face! :( I'm so sorry. I've had a really stressful last couple of weeks, too. But we haven't had to deal with a job loss! Booooooo! Hang in there lady.

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      1. Thanks, lady. Sorry for your stressful weeks, too! No fun :(

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