I have an arguably bad habit now (since I've been blogging, maybe? Eh, probably before, since I've had kids) of thinking in photographs and photo-worthy moments. I don't have a camera in my kids' faces ALL the time (unless you count my cell phone...which you probably should) but when it comes to the bigger moments and events, I feel a strong need to document the occasion with pretty photos. As if it won't be real or official unless I get real, official photos.
When we decorated our tree this year, I made Aidan and Logan change out of their pajamas into actual clothes, got out my camera...and took a total of 3 pictures. Literally. Turns out, I was too interested in helping put the ornaments on the tree than taking photos.
At the time, I didn't think twice about it and had a lot of fun decorating with the family, but after the tree was all decorated and everyone had gone off to do other things, I had this disappointment that I missed the moment. I almost had each of them pull an ornament off the tree so I could take a "candid" (ha!) pretty photo of the decorating. I realized that I was being silly though. My pictures of the annual decorating of the tree might not be plentiful or perfect, but they exist, and it's (hopefully) enough to help me remember the moment years down the road.
I think that's my biggest thing with photos (in additional to just really appreciating nice photography). I have a terrible memory and fear that if I miss a photo, I'll miss a memory, or my kids will miss a memory. I don't want any of us to forget playing Christmas music--and the subsequent arguing over which songs to thumbs up or thumbs down on Pandora, ha!--while reminiscing about each sentimental ornament and deciding which would go on the tree and where.
And I never want to forget that Lorelai's idea of where ornaments should go drastically differed from mine. :) She gets an "A" for effort though. I loved Aidan's, Logan's and her enthusiasm for tree decorating.
I guess it's the age-old question of mamarazzi everywhere: how do I capture the moment and still be present in the moment? If I have to choose, will I regret not getting the perfect photos in my mind to remember the moment?
In general, I feel like I'm pretty good at balancing the two, and don't feel like I've truly missed anything while looking through my camera lens. But I think I need to do a better job about not beating myself up if I miss the perfect shot to capture the moment, because it still happened regardless. And hopefully what the kids remember when looking back at photos is that I was there and in the moment with them.
Which also means I need to be better about getting out from behind the camera. Hmmm, maybe I should recruit Adam and go stage some photo ops after all. :)
I think about this too. I try not to have my phone off too often because I feel like that makes me miss the moment more than actually pulling out my big camera. But I do feel the need to document it all. Hopefully one day, the boys will read my blog and appreciate all the memories :)
ReplyDeleteThere are times I've had to MAKE myself put the camera down. It's not always easy, but I want Marcus to remember us doing things *together*, rather than me snapping away with my camera (which I do all the time). I'm also working on being on the other side of the camera, too. It's such a balancing act. Oy.
ReplyDeleteSo funny, this was exactly like our tree decorating! I had grand plans for awesome pics but only took a couple. Sometimes it really is more fun to embrace the moment than capture the moment. Something I struggle with all the time.
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